Friends and Depression



Friends Give You Hope

by Tamera Trotter

We all need friends

Friends Give You Hope

The worst part of depression is not knowing day to day how you will be feeling. As we all know, time waits for no one which means a depressive episode can occur at the worst possible time. These episodes render the sufferer helpless and sometimes incapacitated. If they are working and have a busy week that requires their attention to details and optimal performance; this situation can place them in jeopardy.  They may need to engage with others and be upbeat, but they may not be up to it. Here is when the, ‘I am happy and everything is fine mask is put on.  No matter what comes your way, it seems depression can adversely affect the outcome.

It Is A Race For Survival

It is really a frustrating existence dealing with a mental illness that requires your constant attention. Living with depression is like being in a race for survival every day; knowing the outcome has nothing to do with how much you trained or prepared.  The outcome is largely based on your ability to overcome the thoughts that permeate your mind and the feelings of sadness that plague your soul.


The worst part of depression is the feeling you will never heal, or live free from the sadness or regain the time that is stolen from you. You tend to miss out on so much in life.  You expend all of your energy trying to cope with the workday and much of that consists of wearing a mask to hide how you are really feeling. Once the workday is over, much of your strength has been expended and you just want to lay down and prepare to cope with the next day. Depression is a miserable existence that in many cases prevents the sufferer from living up to their fullest potential.

Good Friends Are A Vital Part Of  Your Survival

You must find at least one person (preferably three) who tries to understand what you are going through and will commit to supporting you especially during a crisis situation. This person needs to be selected carefully and you need to be able to define how and under what circumstances you will seek their help. However, you must do your part. If you are supposed to attend appointments, take medication and follow other instructions that a counselor may have in place;  You need to be compliant. You need to do what is necessary to help yourself and your situation.  It is easy to burn out friends which may cause them to avoid you. It is true you will have setbacks, but at some point you need to be responsible for you own survival.

There Are Real Physical Symptoms

The depressed individual really becomes tired of always feeling sad and not getting better. Suffering with depression requires so much effort and it causes sheer exhaustion. Most individuals who suffer from depression have insomnia, poor appetite, increased appetite, loss of concentration, inability to stay on track and follow conversations, and often times simply cannot focus. They are adversely affected by stigmas that portray depressed individuals as being weak, especially since deep down inside they struggle, with not being able to overcome the feelings of sadness on their own. Sufferers of depression deal with this silent disease alone.

1 in 4 Women; and 1 in 10 Men Suffer From Depression

Depressions is truly is a debilitating disease that causes sufferers to contemplate taking their own lives; and each year worldwide there are over 800,000 suicides. It has also been reported that by the year 2020, suicide will become the number one cause of death. There are children being bullied and taking their lives as early as 10 years of age. Depression is a disease that does not discriminate; there are people from all walks of life, backgrounds, and ages who are affected.

Learn The Warning Signs Of Suicide

Depression should not be taken lightly and it is imperative that you watch for warning signs given by your friends or loved ones. They are crying out for help when they begin sharing bits of information, that has a sense of closure as a theme, or they are talking about giving away their belongings, or they hug you tight and tell you ‘goodbye’ is a strange way, or they become distant and less communicative. Talk to them about their plans and it may be a good idea to make sure they are not alone.

How Can I Help?

Keep in regular touch and show them your care and are concerned.  Many depressed individuals feel as though they are a burden to their family and friends because they are stuck in their pain. The depressed mind is splintered and often times misinterprets conversations and believes certain thoughts to be true. The depressed mind because more rational when the symptoms of depression subside and clearer thinking prevails. If you know someone who suffers from depression, their condition can begin to take a toll on you. Do not take their lack of improvement in your mind and begin thinking the sufferer is not trying hard enough, or enjoys being depressed for attention.

They Are Stuck In Their Pain

The truth is they probably would rather not see nor speak to anyone. They are not using their feelings to garner your sympathy. Their daily reality is not the same as yours; they have to face each day with the strength of a lion and courage of heart. Help them press through and keep moving forward despite feeling as though the weight of the world is on their shoulder. Getting out of bed and getting dressed feels like a mountain they must climb. Please do not pity them but rather acknowledge their wherewithal and tremendous perseverance. They truly need a good friend to help them make it.  Many sufferers of depression will need medication for the rest of their lives.

“GIVING UP IS NEVER AN OPTION.”