At times it feels as though no matter how hard I try; an unfavorable situation, circumstance or mood causes dismay and wreaks havoc in my life. I have been asked whether I dwell on my depression which would mean I almost give it permission to be a permanent part of my life. The truth is, I pray to be freed from depression every night and there are days, and weeks when I am feeling mentally healthy.
However, there are times when everything around me seems to be going wrong. It is really a bad feeling when your thoughts tell you to just give up. You are constantly reminding yourself that life is worth living, so many people love you and the lives you have touched will never be the same without you.
I have made a personal commitment to complete at least two tasks every day; no matter how big or small in order to keep depression from consuming me. But sometimes to small tasks seem insurmountable. On these days when almost everything is a challenge I admit I give in and start to feel lost and defeated.
It happens less and less but the effort required is tireless and unending. I try to stay ahead of depression by being predictable in my mood; but it is really debilitating. In order to keep my head above the water, I stay two steps ahead of depression but it’s not always possible.
One point to always remember is, tomorrow is a new day to feel vibrant and healthy.