THROUGH THE EYES OF DEPRESSION
THROUGH THE EYES OF DEPRESSION
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                1951-2014

THROUGH THE EYES OF DEPRESSION

ACCEPTING YOUR DEPRESSION

by You Are Worth It on 09/13/14

It took me a long time to accept that I suffered from depression. I considered myself to be strong, confident, resilient and full of positive self-esteem. It is true, all of the adjectives describe me but I do suffer from depression. I thought if I admitted I was depressed it somehow meant I was weak. I could not accept that I was unable to help myself. I felt talk therapy or medication was for those who could not function and since I was working, attending college and taking care of my personal needs I was high functioning.

I suffered for so long, telling friends I would attend their events knowing that I probably would find an excuse not to attend or conveniently not feel well. I was not living I was sleeping long hours, suffering with headaches and exhaustion all because I could not accept the help that millions of depression sufferers receive every day across the country. In addition, admitting or accepting help for depression had a cultural stigma and is highly untreated within my race. I began to read about depression and quickly learned it can be hereditary and was likely to be a chemical imbalance in the brain.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I happen to take medication to help cope with depression and I have acquired others ways to deal with this daily disease. There is nothing wrong with getting help, please do not wait years the way I did. You deserve to live life to its fullest because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Do you think something is wrong with you because you may suffer from depression?

PAINFUL TRUTH ABOUT LIVING WITH DEPRESSION

by You Are Worth It on 09/12/14

The painful reality about living with depression is that you feel all alone. Even though you know people care about you, in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep and you cannot sleep, the reality sets in.  If you believe in God, its just you and God.  If you do not, its just you. 

Depression is a daily struggle and seldom are there two days alike.  Some of the thoughts that enter the mind of a depressed person, can vary in range. Many are assumptions about others, about their situation or just random thoughts. The depressed person makes assumptions that are most likely not true; and often times their feelings support the untruths. They feel alone most of the time because except for 1-3 friends no really understands what they are going through and most will not take the time. For the most part they conceal the fact they suffer with depression and probably only ONE PERSON in their life knows when to be extremely concerned if they have talked about their death and their pain is palpable.

The depression sufferers get tired of being depressed and taking their medication. The medication has side effects that range from headaches to upset stomach and/or dizziness.  It all just seems so worthless and useless. But if you love them do not give up on them; it will hurt them deeply.

They are not asking you to be their therapist. They just need to know you care, are concerned and take this disease seriously. They already feel as though they are a burden to everyone. They keep their feelings locked inside because they don't want to push anyone away. Being rejected drives a stake right through their heart and sets off a series of unhealthy thoughts that deepens their depression even more. Depression is a debilitating disease with ripple effects that are spread far and wide.

If you know someone who is depressed check on them, even if its a simple text message, an email or e-card, but most of all help them feel they are not alone.

CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES

by You Are Worth It on 09/11/14

I have found that many people suffer from depression because of their circumstances. Perhaps, a failing marriage has you down, or a child you cannot seem to turn around, a prayer you think will never be answered or a circumstance you cannot ever see changing. The time has come for you to take bold and new action.

Make a list of the pros and cons and search your heart of hearts to determine what your next step should be. I believe that prayer does change things and often times if you take the leap of faith, God will meet you at your greatest point of need. Do not try to figure out every step, turn, roadblock or possibility.

Instead, take it one step at a time and you will eventually build momentum realizing the hardest part was taking the first step. Change is hard but, new found peace is worth the effort. In most cases, only you can change the circumstances because you cannot control how another person acts, reacts, or makes decisions. You do not want regrets in your life, "If only I did this","If only I said that." Life is too short, stop beating yourself up. God has a purpose for each one of our lives and we have the responsiblity to seek our purpose and fulfill our destiny. There are people waiting on you to find your purpose so you can make a difference in their lives. Its not always just about you!!

What will you do to change your circumstances and begin walking in your purpose?

KNOWING YOU ARE WORTHY

by You Are Worth It on 09/11/14

Every single human being on this earth is worthy and has the right to experience happiness. Regardless of  sex, age, race, national origin, religion, or sexual orientation you must be afforded the opportunity to know and believe in your self-worth.  Anyone who belittles you, never has a kind word of encouragement or tells you of your insignificance is usually battling self-hatred and low self-esteem.  They are projecting their feelings on you because deep down they admire your tenacity and strength. They envy your popularity and how so many admire  your character and resilience. You matter, you opinion counts and you are worthy. If you find yourself in a situation, relationship, marriage or friendship where you are not being validated for your uniqueness consider the pros and cons and determine whether its healthy and conducive to your personal growth and development. You are worthy and have the right to be free from harm, persecution, and ill treatment. You must know you are worthy in order to make the choices a confident human being would make. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND EMBRACE YOUR SELF-WORTH.




IF YOU CAN KNEEL BEFORE GOD YOU STAND BEFORE ANYONE

by You Are Worth It on 09/10/14

Do not let other people decide your fate. Almighty GOD promotes, recognizes and casts unmovable favor on HIS children. Stop giving other people permission to speak into your life, cast doubt, plant seeds of insecurity and test your faith. If someone has enough time to be concerned and consumed by the circumstances in your life they clearly find no purpose in their own life. Do not give people power in your life or yield to their deficiencies; they are like a terminal cancer that will kill your joy if you allow it. If you want to be influenced and compelled to follow in the footsteps of a proven life change agent; follow JESUS CHRIST and let him be your source for all that you need. Put NOT your FAITH in man; he will fail you every time.
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TODAY I FEEL AMAZINGLY BLESSED

by You Are Worth It on 09/09/14

Today I feel tired but looking forward to a blessed weekend. I will pray for my day, listen to uplifting music to soothe my mind and work on accomplishing at least two attainable goals. I will think positive thoughts and embrace with gratitude all that is good in my life. There is nothing perfect in life and trials and tribulations are meant to be teaching tools and ways to grow us up mentally and spiritually. I embrace all that I have with appreciation, a deep sense of love for GOD and I am thankful HE has brought me from A MIGHTY LONG WAY. I honor you GOD this day for all that you are to me... THE CENTER OF MY JOY.

BETTER UNDERSTANDING SOMEONE WHO IS DEPRESSED

by You Are Worth It on 09/04/14

A common phrase used when someone has suffered a loss or is experiencing a difficult time is, "I understand what you are going through." This statement is obviously made by a concerned and caring person whose intentions are good however, unless you have experience chronic depression first hand it is next to impossible to really understand how a depressed individual is feeling. It can at times be indescribable to them. For me, depression takes on many different faces. Sometimes it is a sullen mood with sad eyes you think everyone notices, other times it feels as though your heart is breaking on the inside; It can feel like despair and make you think your better off not being here.

Depression also manifests itself in anger and you want everyone to forget about you and stop caring because you are sick of feeling this way. On your best days, you feel adequate and as if things are looking up. But on your worst days, you do not move from where you are and everything seems so close, yet so far away. You are hungry, but the kitchen is to far, you want to shower and feel the water running down you body but, you have no energy to get there; You start getting ready for work but, all of sudden everything seems to be in slow motion. You have to convince yourself why you should, or should not do this or that. The best thing you can do for your depressed friend, mother, sister, aunt, co-worker, etc., is to support them. You can do this by calling to check on them periodically, continue to invite them places even if 8 of 10 times they say "no". Try to not take their mood or behavior personally and give them time to act.

I can feel when a depression episode is trying to set in. It can last for 15 minutes, or 50 minutes; 2 days or 2 months. I am able many times to have 15 minute episodes because when the 15 minutes is up, I move. I either go outside, make a call, complete a simple task, listen to a song, start cleaning. This helps to shift the mind away from sad thoughts or feelings. A 50 minute episode may be harder to shake because it is almost like a fixation. I can usually breakthrough this episode due to a time sensitive matter. I will admit many people who suffer from depression are chronically late. I wake up with the intention of being on time to whatever is taking place but if I can getting moving after the 15 minutes I tarry which causes me to be late. The 2 day episodes usually occurs on my "off days" when I know I do not have to go anywhere. This is also where the "no social life" comes into play and you spend this third day trying to refocus and get back on track.

I have not experienced the two month episode often but, it feels like being in a dark pit or hole you cannot climb out of. It is a real time of despair and can be triggered by a "loss", bad news, unforeseen circumstances or tragedy. This two month episode is one for me that usually has a "trigger". The two day episode may or may not have a small trigger. Finally, the 50 minute or 15 minute episode is usually the day-to-day effect of this disease.

A depressed individual may have feelings of depression over a variety of issues and usually when they have "down time" to think everything they feel starts to surface.  How will you begin to better understand someone who is depressed?

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DEPRESSED PERSON

by You Are Worth It on 09/02/14

WOUNDED SOULS

I take my psychotropic medication before I lay down to sleep.  It helps to slow down a mind that is constantly thinking, processing and evaluating the events of the day.  I listen to my favorite gospel songs to wind down and I start to think about how hopeless depression makes me feel.  My eyes start to feel tired and I begin to yawn as the medication begins to take affect. My eyes grow heavier as I feel myself slipping away into a sound slumber. I pray that the side effects from my medication will not be so bad; headaches,
 upset stomach, constipation or fatigue.

My alarm clock sounds and I look around my room and realize I still have an hour left to sleep because its only my first alarm.  I wake up an hour and fifteen minutes later and its now time to rise and shine; face the day. As I get out 
of bed my mind begins to register and I begin to mentally feel the disposition of the day.  Everyday, there is a cloud that hovers over my head; a constant reminder that I have to work extremely hard to begin the smallest task and to make it through an entire day.

I walk downstairs to let my dogs outside and I come back in retreat to my room and sit in my chair for fifteen minutes. I have to leave my house in forty-five minutes so I need to shower and get dressed. I take my shower, find something to wear and grab an energy drink on my way to my car. I hardly ever eat breakfast because most who suffer from depression have a poor appetite. I can easily not eat until after 4PM in the afternoon having not realized I had not eaten. If I can just make it to work on-time, I can fake it the rest of the day 
and those I come into contact with will believe I am 
in good spirits and all is well in my life.

On days I feel overwhelmed with feelings of despair I am quiet and I may listen to music to boost my spirits; I may take a few breaks to disguise my feelings in case tears start to flow I cannot easily hide. I am brought to tears usually when I am having a day that causes anxiety and I am feeling overwhelmed. No one at work has ever caught me crying and they would never believe I suffer from clinical depression. I have an upbeat personality, I am humorous, I see the positive is almost everything but I would never want them to treat me differently because I suffer from depression.

Yeah, I made it through the day however since I do not have any plans for the evening I drive straight home.  Once home I will do one of three things; #1) Go straight to my room and take a nap which could have me sleeping until the next morning and (I would have missed taking my medication) and then I will feel fatigued most of the next day, or #2) I will watch TV (while working on my computer) for a few hours and not really feel hungry so I may eat a bowl of cereal or #3) I will walk my dogs or just lay in my chair and fall asleep.  I have expended all of my energy getting through the day.  I did the one thing that I must do; work. Everything else is expendable. I bring up my milk to take my medication and I start the routine of feeling tired, yawning and finally falling into a deep sleep.  I pray that tomorrow will be better and the cloud that follow me around everyday will not be so hard on me tomorrow.

Living with depression is the most unpredictable situations to live with. It can be like a roller coaster up and down, and you are never really sure how you day will turn out. You are constantly praying and believing for healing but you are also trying to survive. Some nights you are restless and you seek out ways to help you feel better, other nights you are so fatigued you want to go straight to bed.  You really look forward to going to bed each night because you it can be restful, your mind is turned off and you do not feel any sadness or pain.  Some days you wish you good just sleep for a week and no one would both you.

A day in the life of the depressed is complex and the average person would not want to trade places with someone who is depressed.

YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD

by You Are Worth It on 08/30/14

You have to keep moving forward

EVEN WHEN THERE SEEMS TO BE NO POINT
EVEN WHEN YOUR LIFE SEEMS FULL OF DESPAIR
EVEN WHEN IT DOESN'T SEEM WORTH IT
EVEN WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS FALLING APART
EVEN WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO GIVE UP
EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER STEP
EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN NO LONGER COPE
EVEN WHEN NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND
EVEN WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO STAY IN BED
EVEN WHEN A FRIEND TURNS THEIR BACK
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE AT YOUR WITS END
EVEN WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS ARE MISLEADING
EVEN WHEN GIVEN UP IS EASIER THAN MOVING FORWARD
EVEN WHEN EVERY DAY SEEMS WORSE THAN THE LAST
EVEN WHEN THE MEDICINE IS FAILING YOU
EVEN WHEN ALL YOU CAN DO IS CRY
EVEN WHEN NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGE
EVEN WHEN YOU FEEL HOPELESS AND FULL OF DESPAIR

10 WAYS TO SURVIVE DEPRESSION

by You Are Worth It on 08/30/14

1.  The first key to surviving depression, is working and staying busy. 
2.  The second key to surviving depression is performing at least two    
     productive task everyday, no matter how small it may seem.
3.   The third key to surviving depression is exercising 1-2 times per week for  
      thirty minutes. (Building up to 3x per week)
4.   The fourth key to surviving depression is being compliant with your
       medication.
5.    The fifth key to surviving depression is praying and believing in my      
        healing.
6.    The sixth key to surviving depression is keeping up with / or developing a
        passion.
7.    The seventh key to surviving depression is to tell at least two friends if you  
        become suicidal
8.     The eighth key to surviving depression is to expose yourself to at least 15  
        minutes of sun everyday.
9.     The ninth key to surviving depression is allowing myself to be sad or
        down for no longer than a 24-48 hour period and then moving forward no
        matter what.
10.   The tenth key to surviving depression is accepting that depression is a
         disease, there is nothing wrong with me and I have to try harder to turn my
         dreams into a reality.

We can all survive, defeat and eventually conquer depression as long as we keep living.

SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1- (800) 273-8255
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